Break from reality...

I'm pretty stressed out right now... I'm so excited for what has been going on, just stressed.. I don't get stressed out like most people... It rarely ever happens and I don't show it very well... I usually just shut down and it looks like I'm really calm, but inside... that's a different story. Right now my mind is like a hectic race track; so many thoughts [cars] going around, and around, and around...........

uhgg. ok.. 1...2....3...4.... b-r-e-a-t-h-e.

Better..

I saw High School Musical 3 tonight... [Senior Year]...
I began to feel jealous of the characters. My high school years were nothing near a musical. After these feelings passed, I couldn't help but smile.. Sometimes in disbelief of.. oh.. here comes another song, but mostly, I smiled just because it felt good. It wasn't a high school filled with sex, passing drugs in the hallway, kids being bullied, popularity battles.. it was a school filled with song.. I would give up realistic high school anyday for the halls of East High... My 12 year old sister was grinning from ear to ear, any second about to break up into song... I hope she wasn't thinking that this was what high school was really like.. I wanted to tap her and say hey.. girl.. don't be happy.. this is lying to you. But, why break the fantasy. I was so troubled that we were acting happy about unrealistic life. And, I soon regretted this when we walked out of the theater, and started talking about bills, and car problems.. and the irritating bickering began... How much I wanted my life at the moment to be a musical.

So, my advice for today is obvious... take a break from reality.. chill out on the couch, and watch a fantasy.. musical.. something you know isn't real; but, with all of your heart, wished it was.

Smell of happiness...

I moved yesterday... To a place I used to call home... I seriously have no idea where that is right now.. home. My life is like a huge ride right now. I have no idea where I will be next, and I guess that's ok. God is changing so many things in my life right now, including me... I keep on asking when we I get settled somewhere, but I have a feeling that it might not be for a while. That makes me remember how I need to really focus on today instead of tomorrow or 2 years from now. How can I live for today, if all I think about is the future? Today is my first day here. I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm excited... Those are all things that I really don't like to feel.. They make me feel like I'm not in control of my own life.. but then I remember that I'm not in control of my life at all.. I will keep everyone posted about what is happening.

I can't help but smile when I go outside. This is my absolute favorite time of the year. Me and my grandpa used to walk around during the falltime, and one year I can remember us walking and picking up our favorite leaves.. It's almost like I can still smell that day. I can still smell the leaves.

So, my advice for the day... Go outside.. and be silent.. And pick up your favorite leaf or two.. and keep it.. press it in a book.. and always remember that day; remember the smell of happiness.

Transition and transformation...

It's been a while since I have wrote a blog.. I know you guys are going to be THRILLED that I'm back.. So, this is just going to be around transition and transformation. My life is completely consumed of the two. Transition: when I say that word I immediately get a little freaked out. I think about my life, my choices, my lack of motivation... and get scared. When I get scared I freeze. I honestly can not move. As a child I was scared of everything... every single thing. Just to show you the extent of this fear: If I went to school and it rained I would have to go home, or call my mom. I was so scared that the rain would lead to a tornado and my family would die. I wanted to make sure I could say goodbye and that they were safe. All because of rain.. Little rain drops that I thought were going to kill my family. I was also scared to go for a walk or bike ride by myself.. I was scared that a random dog would attack me. [I was attacked as a child, so there is some justification for this one]... The list goes on and on.. Fear was in charge of my life. Being scared was always on my mind, and it blocked what I was trying to accomplish.

Today: I think about how far I have come in my life. The fact that I sing in front of people, or talk to strangers and feel comfortable, be on a greeting team, speak in public, ORDER FOOD from a restuarant... are all HUGE examples of how God has delivered me from fear. I'm still working on this.. and it has been so relieving. A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulder. I want God to direct my life.. not fear.

I love my friends.. they are constantly pulling me out of my shell, and out of this fear bubble that I have been living in. Thank you guys.. but take it easy on me =)

So, my advice for the day is: DO SOMETHING CRAZY; Dye your hair, get a tattoo, stay up late, go for a jog..

Hold on...

So, the entire month of September was one huge test for me. I struggled to hold onto anything that felt familiar to me. I was scared of change. I was scared to let go of things and to receive what God wanted to give me. I heard this song that really touched me the other day. The lyrics are beautiful as well as the melody. I finally feel like I'm seeing the fruit of change.. good change.

So my advice for the day is if you're needing a hand to hold..
Listen to Hold On by 33 Miles

Friends...

I really don't have anything to say.

Advice for the day:
Receive help from friends.