Little secrets of love...

Today I cleaned. I moved about 3 weeks ago back home, and today I was still unpacking. I have moved so much lately, and I can honestly say that I haven't stayed and slept at the same place for a week straight in probably 5-6 months. Not in the same bed for a week straight. I began to think as I was alone today. Am I running away from something? Am i scared to get too comfortable? What is going on... Do I really think that God calls me away when I really start to call somewhere home... All of these questions meshed well with my sorting and organizing. If you know me well enough you know that I can bored very quickly. As soon as I lose interest in something I leave. I thought about this quality of mine and tried to incorporate it with my staying problem. Is it the adventure that I love; the new places- new faces. Or is it that I'm scared.

After a while of thinking... silently. I remembered how great it felt to just be silent. s-i-l-e-n-t.

It then hit me how much I love to think about others. I love to help people, helping is something that just shows me I'm needed... I think that is something we all need... to be needed.
I love when people come to me to talk... I honestly love to just listen to people... give my advice if needed, but mainly just listen to them. I love to love people. It makes me feel complete inside... when I can love others.. and know that I am loved.

Then I came back to me... and there it hit me.

I hate to focus on myself... then my imperfections begin to show. There is so much of me that I need to fix, so much that I need to look at. Most of all, there is so many things that I need to repair. When something happens, I just leave the pieces there. And today those pieces started to poke me. I was uncomfortable going inside to look at these things. I realized how much easier it is for me to focus on others, to help others, to listen, and mostly to love them... then it is myself. Don't get me wrong, I have come a long way, and I do love myself. I would just rather love someone else sometimes...

I need to rest.. as my cute friend said.. and focus on me...
I need to find those "katie" things and make them stronger.

My advice today is go throughout the day and say good things that you like about yourself... Don't feel conceited, and especially do no feel like you aren't worth it. You ARE.

I'll go first.
I like my lips... [weird, but it's true]
I like that I'm tall...
I like that my eyes are green, and when I cry they turn the prettiest deep color.
I like my laugh... [when I can control it.. but what fun is that?]


Just tell yourself things... little secrets that you love about yourself. You're worth it.